Do You Love Me?
by musicalxchaos
Summary: Lorelai's thoughts during the play in "Jews and Chinese Food". One shot for now. Please review.


**A/N:** I don't own anything, its all ASP's doing. But I just had to play around with the play scene because...wow. Review please.

* * *

Working in such close quarters with Luke, Lorelai was distracted as she continued to make costume adjustments on the children in the play. She was startled out of her fog by the first line of Kirk's latest musical number. 

_Do you love me?_

She haphazardly continued to pin the small boy's hat and beard on, trying to push the lyrics out of her mind. "You have job to do here Lorelai, you can't let it get to you."_  
_

_Do I what?_

_Do you love me?  
_

Lorelai was thankful for the presence of the children, but found herself paying more and more attention to the show. She hadn't been at the rehearsals, and really hadn't paid much attention until that damn first line. She remembered who was standing a mere 4 feet to her left and was determined to stay focused.

_Do I love you?  
With our daughters getting married  
And this trouble in the town  
You're upset, you're worn out  
Go inside, go lie down!  
Maybe it's indigestion_

Suddenly she found herself starting to push the last of the kids backstage, leaving her and Luke alone in the preparation area to listen to Kirk's song.

_Golde I'm asking you a question... Do you love me?_

_I'm your wife_

Lorelai suddenly felt very awkward as she tried not to think about who was standing there with her, close enough that a few steps would be all it took to have him back in her arms. She shifted nervously. Why this song, why now? Were the powers that be really that cruel, that here, a mere twenty four hours after their ugly screaming match about the boat – or at least, what they pretended was about the boat – they were standing alone, surrounded by children, listening to Kirk sing about love?

_"I know..."  
But do you love me?_

_Do I love him?  
For twenty-five years I've lived with him  
Fought him, starved with him  
Twenty-five years my bed is his  
If that's not love, what is?  
_

She felt the telltale lump in her throat and tried to fight it, but knew it was useless. Memories were flooding back to her – the waltz at Liz's wedding and those first butterflies when he asked her out afterwards. The test run, the flowers, and their argument followed by that amazing first kiss that she would never forget. Their first date – Luke's promise of being "all in" still echoed in her head. Going back to Luke's apartment after their first date. All the amazing little things – movie nights, him putting up with her parents, surviving their first fight about the boat, getting that TV for her, the ice rink. She really couldn't place when she had first fallen in love with him. All she knew is that he was – or had been – the one. And then came the wedding.

_Then you love me?  
_

The tears came to Lorelai faster now as she snuck a glance at Luke, catching his eye for a minute and quickly looking away. Why did this have to hurt so much?_  
_

_I suppose I do  
_

She heard the song coming from on stage. She wished it didn't apply to her life so well. She wished she could erase the night of the wedding, wished they were here together on speaking terms so she could tell him that she loved him, tell him that the song said everything she was feeling right now, in a quirky sort of way.

_And I suppose I love you too  
_

Lorelai took a deep breath and swallowed the lump in her throat, determined not to let her guard down. The song had to be almost over right? And once that was done the show would continue and the kids would come back. She wanted to talk to him, she really did. But what could she do? It all seemed so hopeless now.

_It doesn't change a thing  
But even so  
After twenty-five years  
It's nice to know_

Lorelai couldn't fight the tears any longer as she applauded the end of the song. Not able to stand being so near him and not looking into his eyes, she turned to see how he reacted, and found he had done the same. They spent the next few moments with their eyes locked on one another. Lorelai mind raced for the right words to say, she saw something deep in his eyes that gave her strength despite the tears still threatening to spill over. But the damn kids ran through, breaking up their moment.

"_I thought there was a moment…" "THERE WAS…There was a moment!"_

Lorelai blocked out the memory and turned to look at Luke as he worked on the cart in the hopes of one last moment of eye contact. He looked up at her sadly and then continued his work. Lorelai brushed away the last of her falling tears, swallowed the lump in her throat, and, her heart breaking, walked over to the small child who was having a mild costume crisis.

She avoided eye contact with Luke for the rest of the show.


End file.
